Monday, December 12, 2011

Christmas- presents, overkill, depression, recentering

If you're like me, and sometimes I really pray that you are not!, holidays can be a vicious cycle of emotional turmoil. From intense excitement, to its polar opposite, depression, the holidays dredge up a lot of emotional baggage as well as old Christmas ornaments and dusty fake trees.  

You get out the tree and set everything up, run out to the store and buy all kinds of presents, and then wonder what the heck you've been doing!  Depression sets in. You wonder if anyone will like/need what you bought. (Personally I hate buying stuff just because it's a certain date.)

That's when I start snapping out on my husband.  :(  That's when I have to seriously chill out. I know it's a lot of emotional baggage from my childhood. I know it has nothing (or almost nothing) to do with the actual people involved today, but I have to walk myself through the process of letting it all go. I have to tell myself (out loud!) that it doesn't really matter what I look like or what I bought (comparatively), but that I cared enough to be there and brought a gift.  Obviously, I hope the gift will be relevant, but you can't always get it spot on, so forgive yourself already (says my mindspeak).

Then the cleaning and baking start, and I haven't even started getting any Christmas groceries in the house!  This is a crazy time of year. From now on, I am going to try to enjoy it. If I ever finish those Christmas cards. If you didn't get one, it's cuz they're still on my table...

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